just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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