hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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