I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
