Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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