K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize