I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
