normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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