what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
