if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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