Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
