i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
