my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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