It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
