then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
