I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
