Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sober January is a disaster.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
