..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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