what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
