Fine. I'll sleep in my office
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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