So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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