dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
