yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize