Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
