Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
