operation harelip BJ is a go
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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