i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
