I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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