seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize