Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
