Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
