do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
