i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
