they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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