i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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