he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
