hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
