I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
