You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Too much gin, very little bucket
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
