I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
