I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
don't judge my taste in strippers
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
