no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
