If i come over, it means nothing
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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