Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
COCAINE IS GR8
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize