whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
