Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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