I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
