do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
