That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
