I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
