I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
