Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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