Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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