Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
