im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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