you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
