Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
