she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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