Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
