Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
